TOY COUTURE

DIRTY LOVE

2011-08-05T19:05:00.000-04:00

As a recovering slut I’ve acquired sexual knowledge that it takes most people a lifetime to obtain. Therefore my sexual urges no longer control me. As much as I’m attracted to you I’m still likely to turn down your sexual proposition. All sex isn’t good sex.

~ Outdoor Sex- Knowing that anyone can see you at any moment adds to the thrill but for the most part outdoor sex is a terrible idea. Especially when you end up with mosquito bites in places that can’t easily be scratched.

~ Half-Hearted Sex- This is when one of the parties doesn’t really want to do it but does it anyway. Believe me when I tell you there’s nothing worse than getting a blow job from someone whose heart just isn’t in it.

~ Triple Overtime Sex- Sex that seems like it will never end. As a good friend of mine so eloquently put it- “You ain’t gon just be fuckin me all day.”
I’d always hear women complain about ‘one minute men’, so I figured that lasting for an hour would make me the man. But I found out that women (and later on most bottoms) don’t appreciate when you go so long that you turn their hole into the Lincoln tunnel. Triple Overtime Sex Defiantly demands the use of a “Wrap It Up” sign.

~ Grenade Sex- Take one for the team sex.
Your homeboy is cozying up to a dime, but he needs you to run interference on one of the dime’s less-than-stellar friends. It’s a dreadful day when you hear the words "Come on man, take one for the team and jump on the grenade"

~ “Maybe I should’ve seen your papers before we did this” sex- #dotheymakeantibioticsforthat

~ “I didn’t agree to that” sex- Did he just….?

~ Is That An Ingrown Hair??? sex – You believe them but you watch the bump the whole time. You may even fake some stomach kisses and a hand job in order to get closer to the offending blemish to check it out thoroughly. All in all it’s very distracting from getting yours.

~ Too many rules sex- “We can have sex BUT ”:
Dont touch _____, _____ and ____.
I dont do ____,____,and ____.
Dont ___,____ and ____.

You should only be allowed 2 REASONABLE rules. More than three and you gotta go.

~ I want to fuck and they want to be romantic sex– This is self explanatory. The two just dont mix.

.

DESIGNER DICK

2010-12-05T07:07:00.013-05:00

Everybody wants good dick. Bottoms want to fuck it and Tops want to have it. Dick is a beautiful thing. Especially if you fuck around and get you some Designer Dick. I’ve seen sane and sensible people do insane and irrational things all because of some good dick. If you’ve never had a ‘choice’ piece of meat then God bless your heart cuz you’ll be satisfied with any ol’ thing.

Like a designer bag or a couture gown, designer dick is all about quality. It feels good, its visually pleasing to the eye, it lasts longer than the average piece and its in limited supply. Its timeless; able to be appreciated by the young and the old. Designer Dick will have you Dicknotized, meaning putting up with a whole lot of crap just because the dick is good.

The taste of it invokes the insatiable whore in you. The fit is perfection. You fall in love because it’s consistent, you always know what you’re going to get. That’s luxury at it’s best….Some guys know how to work it but don’t have good dick. Some guys have an above average size cock but don’t have good dick. It's not his length or his width or any one thing in particular.

I know people who have ignored the advice of trusted friends and spent their last dime on a piece. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice. Those around you may not have been privileged enough to experience the good things in life. So they wouldn’t understand. I assure you there’s nothing like a custom made piece. If you've never had one don’t settle for less. You deserve the best. Get you some Designer Dick.

The B.I.B.L.E

2010-10-01T00:25:00.006-04:00

I have a loose friend. I’ll call him Lucy. Recently while he, I and a group of friends where out he asked if anybody knew of a way he could keep his ass hole tight. And with that one question came an hour discussion. He got all kinds of advice. Someone said douche with vinegar, another person said soak in a hot sea salt bath, another friend said ‘work out more and increase your squats‘..Someone else said clench your butt cheeks through out the day. Another person said something about a product called China Star shrink cream. I heard so many odd remedies I was all of sure someone would soon say ‘Brusell sprouts & ketchup!” or “Grated Parmesan Cheese”

If someone were looking at us from a distance they would have thought we were trying to crack the Da Vinci Code. By the end of the conversation he looked even more confused so I know he didn‘t take anything away from the convo……I find the answer to be quite simple: STOP JUMPING ON EVERY BIG DICK YOU SEE…or perhaps give your ass a Spring Break.

Read the B.I.B.L.E - Bottom’s Instructions Before Letting Enter :

Pick, Choose, & Refuse….. instead of…… Dick, Booze, & Abuse

WISDOM FROM A DOG WHISPERER

2010-09-10T21:40:00.003-04:00

Men will fuck you out of convenience with no future plans to EVER go beyond that phase. Now if you’re content with being a man of convenience, what I refer to as a 'Goodtime Guy', then more power to you. However if you want to lock him down and make him yours please know this-

Generally men commit for two reasons: 1) They think they can’t do better and/or 2) They think they might lose you.

The latter of the two is easy. You simply deliver an ultimatum or slowly estrange yourself.

As far as securing a mate It’s reason #1 that separates the ‘Have's’ from the 'Have Nots'. But it's no secret to it. In fact its old wisdom that any street pimp could have enlightened you with, because it’s the unspoken knowledge of how they procure their stable of loyal prostitutes.

~*You get a man to commit to you by assessing his needs then providing a way for him to get those needs met.*~

Intellectuals know it as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Need—pimps call it the “Pyramid.” If you meet a man’s needs at different levels of the Pyramid, simultaneously, he’ll be loyal to you. You’ve got to meet needs at one level while you are trying to find a way in at a different level. Then you will have a man pulling for you. Then you will have his allegiance. It’s complex simplicity.

Have no control? You need to get him on a tighter leash. The way that you do that is you make him want the leash. You have to be there when nobody else is there. Know him like nobody else knows him. Find out what his need is and fix it for him. Since ‘the game is to be sold not told’ I wont break it down for you. I’ll let you click this link here and google the rest of your way to superiority. Change his mind by changing your mind.

Show me a dog that’s not acting right and I’ll show you an unknowledgeable dog owner enabling that behavior. No dog can be trained by an owner uneducated in the needs of that specific breed.

TRUST ISSUES

2010-09-02T01:47:00.030-04:00

I’ve given the ‘side eye’ to a lot of guys when it came time to have sex. There’s just some stuff I don’t trust and some shit I say you just CAN'T trust. Maybe I’m a hypochondriac, maybe I’m paranoid but it is what it is. Some warrant an explanation and some don’t.

THINGS I DON’T TRUST IN THE BEDROOM-

~GUYS WHO SWALLOW MY CUM-
I LOVE LOVE LOVE when someone does it but I’m always left wondering ’I know I’m not that special, So you just do this to every guy???’

~“TOPS” THAT TELL ME THEY’VE NEVER BEEN PENETRATED BUT THEY’RE GOING TO LET ME BE THEIR 1st-
Inside I’m thinking ‘You’re no top you’re just a discreet bottom’.

~GUYS WHO USE ENEMAS OR DOUCHES-
I know it’s to keep clean blah blah blah but I still think its weird.

~BOTTOMS THAT SAY “FUCK ME HARDER!” -
Makes me think your hole is too open

~BOTTOMS THAT DON’T LIKE TO SUCK DICK-
I thought sucking dick was a required course Bottoms101

~BOTTOMS THAT SEEM ENAMOURED WITH WHAT THEY CALL MY “PERFECT ASS”-
Makes me think you wanna fuck me

~TOPS WHO DICKS DON’T STAY HARD-
Whether it’s while I’m watching porn or in a 3some. When a Tops dick doesn’t stay hard it makes me think he’s an undercover bottom

~BOTTOMS WHO SAY YOUR DICK IS TOO BIG BUT TAKE THE WHOLE DICK WITH SEEMINGLY NO PROBLEM

~GUYS THAT MOAN IN HIGH PITCH VOICES WHEN THEY’RE GETTING FUCKED-
I’m turned off and left feeling tricked and somewhat violated.

To Catch A Predator

2010-08-10T21:22:00.004-04:00

Many of you are aware of 'On-Line Predators'. Generally these are pedophiles, older heterosexual males that scourer the internet prowling for young, pubescent girls. In the last couple years we have been introduced to 'Cougars', older heterosexual females in search of opportunistic, virile, younger guys. Well, not to be out done the gays have upped the ante and merged the 2.…allow me to introduce you to the 'On-Line Candy Man'.

There’s nothing more dangerous out there than an older gay male with raging hormones, good credit and extra money to spare. They are sometimes older white men with a sweet tooth for young chocolate boys or older black men that like the allure and danger of a young thug. You see these sexual predators in the chat rooms and dating sites all over, and many of us have them as friends. They’ll stalk a young and unsuspecting 19 or 20yr old and lure them with video games, booze, marijuana, or cold hard cash.

You know who you are. Letting them make love to you to rap music when you know you’re use to fucking to slow jams. I see you. Thats the first clue you might be a 'On-Line Candy Man'. Leave these kids alone! I hope one of their momma's catch your ass. If you’re a gay man on-line sending messages to somebody who doesn’t know the music you grew up on then shame on you! Hit people up your on damn age! ......SMH

Barbie/Ken Conundrum

2010-07-26T07:00:00.020-04:00

Heavily breathing, I laid back on the bed tired, sex sweaty from one of the best orgasms in my life. He turned around flashing his sexy colgate smile and snuggled into my arm. Then he readjusted himself and laid his face on my chest and placed his arm around my stomach. Immediatetly I sucked my stomach in to flex my abs. Although I've been in the gym relentlessly to ensure I'm 'butt naked ready' I’m still always self conscious. I know the gays are unforgiving in their expectations and I wanted to appear picture perfect to him. It was so uncomfortable trying to hold my gut in but he's 23 & ripped without an ounce of body fat so I too wanted to give the illusion of being chiseled and flawless.

I dreaded the fact that I’d possibly have to hold my stomach in all night if he stayed laying in this position but it's hard out here in these streets for a gay so I was willing to do what I had to do......All of a sudden I had an “Ah Hah” moment. I felt ridiculous. I’m a real man, not a magazine cardboard cut out or some Ken doll. If he didn’t want a real man then to hell with him. Besides that, I’d already gotten the ass anyway. So I exhaled and released my pudginess. He felt the release as my stomach went from hard to soft. He kissed it. I felt stupid.
Fuck Barbie, Ken & the dream car they drove in!

MY 2 CENTS

2010-07-26T07:00:00.019-04:00

I DON'T GET GUYS WHO SUCK DICK WITH RUBBERS. I UNDERSTAND WHY BUT ~WTF~ WHEN YOU GO BUY A POPSICLE DONT YOU TAKE THE WRAPPER OFF????!!!!

Are You Just A Fuck?

2010-07-16T14:42:00.019-04:00

Men are primal in nature and most will fuck any hole given the right circumstances. Some guys make it known up front that all they want from you is sex. Others use more deceitful tactics like making you think they’re into you or may possibly want a relationship from you. When in the end you’re just a fuck. You wanna make sure you’re not objectified against your will? Then pay close attention. These are the top ways to know YOU'RE JUST A FUCK..or at best the side dude.

*YOU ONLY SEE HIM AFTER DARK

--If the only time you see this guy is late at night or after the club, after he’s drunk from too many shots of Patron and you 2 have wild passionate sex. Most likely you’re just a fuck or the side piece. Men spend time with their Boyfriend/Girlfriend or anyone they sincerely want to get to know and most of all they take them to DAYTIME events.

*TEXT MESSAGES TELL ALL

--If he only corresponds to you via text message most likely you’re just a fuck or the side piece. When a guy is truly into you he’ll want to hear your voice. Text messages are disconnecting.

--Do you text him and it takes him long periods of time to respond? Then clearly you’re not high on his priority list. Guys have their phone on them at all times. No matter how busy he is, if you mean anything to him your response wont take long. If it does its because he’s keeping his options open for something or someone better because you’re just a fuck or a side piece at best.

*“MY TELEPHONE, MY TELEPHONE...”

--When you call does his phone constantly go to voicemail only for him to call you back shortly afterwards? Well thats because he had to make a quick excuse to get some privacy and see what you want. Other times he may answer the phone only to place you on hold while he leaves the the room or house.

*“SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME..”

--Does he call you boo, baby, anything other than your name OR he never says your name at all?? Its because he doesn’t know it or remember it. Guys will fuck you for months and not know your name. The whole time you thinking you’re special your name is saved in his phone under ‘Dude from the club with the dreads” or even worse the # is save under your Adam4Adam screen name.

--Do you call him one name but his friends call him something else?? Most likely its because he doesn’t want to run the risk of you saying his name around any of the other guys he is fucking; or in the same vicinity or circle of friends as his boyfriend thus fucking up his good thing at home. So if you don’t know the name on his State issued I.D chances are you’re just a fuck or a side piece at best.

Energy Conservation

2010-07-15T19:55:00.006-04:00

Do your part to conserve water. Shower with a friend.

The New Straight Man

2010-07-12T07:00:00.013-04:00

If I had to hear him say “I’m straight!” one more time I was going to scream. It was too early in the morning for this shit. He had already said it like 6 times in his ramblings at me. I never doubted he was straight. I can spot a gay man on sight and I never once thought he was gay or had homosexual tendencies. “I’m 100% straight bruh. I LOVE PUSSY” he said …I was looking at him trying to figure out if he was attempting to convince me or himself. I mean, I had seen him eat & beat the hell out of some pussy 3 times this week. Three different girls 3 different days. I knew he loved pussy and the females loved him. That’s why when he asked if he could fuck some chick at my house, since his baby mama was at his crib I immediately said “Yeah as long as I can watch”. I knew he wouldn’t have a problem convincing the girl to let me watch because in addition to being sexy as hell and knowing it he was also charming as fuck and had a seductive swagg.

“I just had too much to drink man” he solemnly stated.….I myself spent $120 at the bar and he bought a round every time I bought a round. We both clearly had too much to drink. “I mean you my boy and you cool as fuck even if you are gay. I told you I never had a friend that happen to be gay but I don’t give a fuck long as you know I’m straight and don’t get down like that.”

I was trying to be empathetic and understanding in this situation but he was getting on my last nerve. I never said a word though. I sat quiet and let him vent. “You know what bruh I don’t even wanna discuss this shit no more. At all. Period.” I could tell by the stern disgusted look on his face he was serious. I’m looking at him like he's crazy cause the only thing I had said was “Hey those my boxers you puttin on. Yours are over here.”

Having to sit thru his self inflicted guilt trip and denial rant for 30min assured me it wasn’t worth it. And it was all his doing. He knew I was crushin on him when he said I was too drunk to drive and insisted on driving me home and spending the night at my house. After I tossed him basketball shorts to sleep in he was the one who threw the first head slap which started the play wrestling when we were in our boxers and no shirts. I LIKE MEN and rolling around drunk and half naked with one was no doubt going to get me on hard. And it did.

While wrestling, I had pinned him on his stomach, arm bent behind his head, face down in the carpet. All the skin to skin body contact and aggression had my adrenalin rushing. As I laid on top of him, my crotch to his ample ass, what started out as an innocent attempt to show who was the alpha male had taken an erotic turn. My dick became so stiff and rock hard it hurt. He felt it and to my surprise began to roll his ass and grind his hips against it.

When I felt him do that I slid my boxers off while keeping him pinned down. I was completely naked. Then I began to slide his boxers down. With his 1 free hand he pulled them back up with a strong grip saying “I’m not gay man"…However he wasn’t putting up much of a struggle. It should have taken more than 3 resistant tugs to get him to let his boxers go. When he released his grip from the boxers and began to grind his naked ass and hips against me. I began to kiss him on the nape of his neck.

If he had a problem with me sliding my bare dick back and fourth in-between his bare ass cheeks he would have said “Naw bruh I’m straight” more forceful than he did. Hell he’s taller than me and way more muscular so he could have pushed me off. He would not have continued to roll his ass and throw it back on my dick if he didn’t want to feel it next to his hole.

The only time he got angry and attempted to push me off is when I tried to take my finger and touch his butt hole. And a forceful angry “Naw bruh I told you I’m straight!!” Was enough to let me know not to try that shit again. If he didn’t like my naked body on his he would not have started back rapidly grinding his ass once I removed that finger. And when I said “Damn. Im bout to cum” he would have got the fuck up wit the quickness because I had stopped pinning him down at least 10minutes ago. Instead as the cum streamed up his ass and made a puddle in the arch of his back he grabbed my neck pulling me closer, rolling his back in conjunction with his ass smearing the cum between us. After that we both just got in my bed and went to sleep.

It was a great ending to a good night. It would be a great memory had he not fucked it up the next morning....I’m over it though. He’s straight. I get it. Whatever.

WANT ADS

2010-07-06T07:00:00.005-04:00

Desperately Seeking: Devin Thomas
For: NSA one night stand

We met at the BACK ALLEY bar in Atlanta Hartsfield Airport Saturday June 26,2010. I was sitting on the bar stool that was on your left side. I had on a plaid shirt, baseball cap and blue jeans. I asked to taste your nuts because the ones in my bowl were too salty. You told me I could just take your nuts. I said ok. What I really wanted to say was that your eyes are mesmerizing, your lips give me a hard on, and your abs make me salivate something awful. I don’t know anything about football but I’m told you’re a wide receiver which makes us a perfect match. Please call me 404-404-4040

THE DICK DIET

2010-06-30T07:00:00.007-04:00

There are 3500 calories in a pound of fat. Have sex for an hour and you can loose about 300 of those calories. According to the Kinsey Institute, average frequency of sexual intercourse is
2.15 times per week (age 18-29)
1.65 times per week (age 30-39)
1.33 times per week (age 40-49)

The average couple has sex about 1.68 times a week, lasting approximately 24.4 minutes; That means those folks are barely clearing 300 calories a week. Those who are more sexually active can burn up to 600 calories a session; Have sex atleast 6 times during the week and burn 1pound a week.

It's obvious regular sexual activiy is a great way to help loose weight and stay fit. Even more reason to go out and have hot sweaty sex!

Toy Couture has officially given you the green light to FUCK YOURSELF THIN!!!

Erotic Excerpts

2010-06-29T06:58:00.010-04:00

"Don’t be scared to bring candies and toys into the bedroom. Some guys are jealous of dildos because of the size, so what I did to kind of ease [my ex-husband] is introduce him to jumbo candy canes that they give at Christmas time. I like that better because number one, it doesn’t look like a penis that’s bigger than him, so he won’t be jealous. Plus, it makes the vagina taste wonderful and the peppermint makes it tingle a little bit when he blows. It’s good when he’s giving you head; it looks fun and kiddie-like going in, so he’s not intimidated."

-Khia; Vibe Magazine

ManTrap

2010-06-27T21:41:00.008-04:00

“Do you love me?” he asked as I grinded deep inside him…WTF… I couldn’t believe he would wait until the middle of sex to ask me this blatant trick question. Without breaking the rhythm of my stroke I did what any decent man would do.….I lied. “I love you.” was my reply. He wrapped his legs around my waist tighter and grabbed my ass pushing me deeper inside of him. He had got the answer he wanted. Instantly I knew I’d regret the answer later.

I’m a very big fan of talking during sex, but only dirty talk. While a guy is riding me I’m use to being asked “Who’s dick is this?” and when I’m hitting it doggy style it doesn’t catch me off guard when I’m told “Make me your bitch!” However lately I’ve been totally blindsided by calculating individuals who ask “Is this all you want from me?” or tell me “You need to leave those other guys alone” or ask “Don’t you wanna make me yours?”

There is a distinct line between Pillow Talk, Dirty Talk, and MANTRAPS. The verbal ManTraps I've been having to dodge are the equivalent of a heterosexual woman poking holes in a condom....Conniving methods will not make him be with you or stay with you

F.Y.I-Booby trapping a man is never a good look.

man-trap/ˈmænˌtræp/
–noun
1. An outdoor trap set for humans
2. A woman (or man) who is purported to be dangerously seductive or who schemes

Ejaculation Etiquette

2010-04-19T06:00:00.005-04:00

In the past I’ve never thought twice in regards to when & where I climax. Wrong or right I admit I almost never let you know I’m about to bust my load. Even if a guy is giving me head and requests I warn him before I ejaculate there’s still no guarantee he wont end up with a mouthful of cum. And unless he was very good at dodge ball as a child he may also very well get shot in the eye.

As much as I enjoy kissing you after I cum in your mouth and even hand feeding my cum to you, it may surprise some that the only cum I deal with is my own. Oddly enough I’m somewhat disgusted by cum that isn‘t mine. No you can’t nut on me and I don’t want yours anywhere near me. (Yeah yeah I know it’s a double standard but oh well.) The only exception is if we’re in a relationship, and that’s only after quite a bit of time in it.

So with this disgust in mind, imagine my dismay during sex with a one night stand who’s riding me, his dick rock hard and out of no where a stream of cum shoots out his dick, over my face, headboard, and lands on my wall. Immediately in session to that he shoots a second shorter stream of cum up my stomach and up the left side of my neck. Saying I was horror-struck is an understatement. I immediately felt a surge of guilt, remorse and empathy for every dick sucker I had disrespected in the past. I now know your sexual partners deserve a choice, and as a common courtesy you should let them know before you turn their mouth, face, body or any of their open holes into a playground for your unborn children. To not do so is simply bad etiquette.

There’s a scripture that says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” ….This night I realized how true that scripture is.…Apparently this one night stand’s mother had raised him well and taught him that whenever he made a mess it was his duty to clean it up …..because before I could spew a selective group of four letters words at him for unceremoniously drenching my body in unwanted seamen he got up off my dick and licked up every single drop of cum he shot from the bottom of my torso to the nape of my neck….. And that my friend is Ejaculation Etiquette at its best.

Fat Ass or Flat Ass?

2010-04-09T05:30:00.009-04:00

The dude seemed like a good catch to me. He’s attractive and he has his shit together. He’s exactly my friends type so I asked my friend why he was refusing to date the guy….

His response: “His ass is too big.”

Me: “What?! That’s crazy. I thought everybody liked a fat ass!??”

His reply: “Well I don’t. I’m a Top with 7.5 inches and if a guy has a big ass only 4 of those inches will actually get into his hole due to him having a fat ass! I’m good on that. I’ll take a flat ass over a fat ass any day.

(now picture me laughing hysterically)

Contrary to my friends opinion I will say there is a certain beauty to a fat ass: Seeing that ripple in it when you’re fucking doggy style, or simply seeing a fat ass bounce back when you’re hittin’ it from behind. If the person has a small or flat ass you just simply can’t get that breathtaking visual.

I’ve heard some guys say doggy style sex with somebody that has no ass is not as pleasurable as it is with a fat ass. But I say ass is ass. I like ass. Fat or Flat. I stand strong to the cliché “it’s the inside that counts” (see rubber band ass) but then again I guess that’s just my opinion. And of course opinions are like ass holes….

The Art Of Being A Whore

2010-03-25T05:10:00.002-04:00

He wonders how he fell so fast. Everybody else wonders how I did it. ….I’m a whore. Plain & simple. So he never saw it coming. Everybody has a fantasy. If you’re a whore your job is to be that fantasy. It takes an intuitive individual to be able to identify another persons wants, needs, and desires. Especially without them telling you. It’s an innate sense. One that a psychology class can’t provide. So some people are born whores. Like it or not they have an advantage in life.

The word whore has been drug thru the mud over time and has evolved into a sleazy term reeking of self hate and degradation. And although there are different levels of whoredom the current perception of the word is far from the truth. Don’t fall for the propaganda. It is a slut that has sex with any and everybody. A whore is selective and lays down for a self serving purpose. And although your sex game must be on point, sex is only an ancillary part of the equation. A good whore must fuck your mind. Intellectual intercourse begins as soon as I say “Hello”.

Knowing what turns a man on may draw him to you but the distinctive talent to break down walls and glamour him into being at ease enough to be himself takes an exceptional charm. Confidence is supreme. Seduction is key. The willingness to objectify yourself for a higher cause is eminent. Anybody can get a man to fuck them, but it takes an exceptional skill to make him fall in love. I implore you bring to surface your inner whore. Common whores will take your man and gold digging whores will take him straight to the bank. So if you want to get a man or even keep a man I suggest you learn the art of being a whore.

Erotic Excerpts

2010-03-22T04:11:00.004-04:00

~"OK, I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust."

~"I want to be deep inside you."

~"I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you. Pull your hair for making noise."

~"Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? ... just morbid curiosity."

~"You are my fucking whore. Hold you down while I choke you"

Tiger Woods, text messages to Joslyn James(porn star);

Soure: The Huffington Post

Kissing Cousins

2010-03-22T04:10:00.002-04:00

There is someone in my life who is strictly a friend. We've been friends for quite sometime but we kiss. French kiss to be exact. If we happen to be laying around watching T.V in our boxers its not foreign for us to play with one another’s dick but I promise we are only friends. I’ve fingered him a time or two but we’ve never had sex ….because we’re friends. He keeps a boyfriend and I keep a boyfriend but that doesn’t alter our friendship. We have an understanding…as friends. I’m not interest in more from him and he doesn’t want more from me. We’re complacent & happy with our friendship. Most people don’t understand it. We’re close like brothers so maybe it’s some odd extension of brotherly love. Or maybe he’s simply a friend that I just. So. Happen. To kiss.

Making Love 2 Myself

2010-03-18T14:12:00.004-04:00

I masturbate a lot. My highest number in one day is 8. I masturbate at work in the restroom often and I’ve pleasured myself under my desk many times as coworkers obliviously walk by. I’ve had the urge to ejaculate while out at trendy posh restaurants as well as seedy night clubs and I don’t fight the urge. I excuse myself to the nearest men’s lavatory and jack off. I’ve masturbated in the car while driving many times, ignoring the glares of truck drivers that sit high above me. Sometimes at home I’ll light candles, burn incense, play some soft music and I’ll make love to myself. Other times I’ll be in the shower and I’ll abruptly take myself, throwing myself up against the walls. Yes I’m in love with me and I love myself…....often….I suggest you do the same.

DISRESPECTFUL DICK

2010-03-15T03:31:00.006-04:00

When he sucks my dick he likes for me to forcibly grab the back of his head and shove my dick down his throat until he chokes and gags. His face & my crotch always end up extremely wet due to the excessive saliva from his gagging. When I see tears falling from his eyes I know he’s really enjoying himself. If I feel he needs to catch his breath I pull his head off my dick, slap his face, look down at him as if I’m displeased and say “Your ass is okay muthafuka! Suck this dick like you want me to cum!” Then I assertively ram my dick back into his mouth………At first I thought it was disrespectful, but he likes it like that. I’m a bit of an extremist myself so I say go hard or go home. Maybe he just likes to suck dick. Maybe it’s a submissive thing. I’m not sure but I do know I LOVE IT now.

NEW UPDATES COMING SOON

2010-03-10T14:49:00.002-05:00

I want to thank you all for your patience with me and this blog. Life has been adventurous and has not left me much time to blog but I am going to take the time to get back into the grove of things and start back posting very soon.

Again, thank you...

Toy

Screen Name Blues

2010-02-25T21:47:00.007-05:00

His screen name was: “StayWet_N_Ready” So I was automatically intrigued. I was happy at the prospect of hooking up with a power bottom that could take dick all night long. When I saw his pics I was immediately turned on so I set up a time for us to fuck. It was one of my worst sex sessions to date. No matter how much lube I used he couldn’t take the whole dick and I heard “Oooo. Ouch. Wait. Slow down.” so many times that I stuck my dick in his mouth just so he would shut up. “StayWet_N_Ready” my ass!!

Please make sure your on-line screen names match who you really are. Don’t have screen names like “BigBooty69” if you know you have a little ass and achieved those big booty pics thru tricky camera angles. If you’re reading this and you have a screen name like “KingDingALing” knowing your dick is so small you piss on your balls- Delete That! Your screen name should not be something like “DickUDown” when you cum in the first 5 minutes of sex or “CorporateThug” when you‘re Fem with no job.

P.S.A: Use Screen Names That You Can Live Up To

I'll Choke A Bitch

2010-02-25T21:42:00.009-05:00

Many moons ago when I was a heterosexual, a female introduced me to something that is still apart of my sexual routine to this day. After months of having some of the best sex ever she told me she wanted to do something a little kinky but had been apprehensive about asking me. "I‘m down for whatever." I told her. “You know I’ll try anything twice. Twice since first times often turn out bad.” A little relieved she paused for a second then said “When I get ready to cum I want you to choke me….Hard.” I gave her a puzzled and confused look as she showed me the silk scarf she wanted me to use. For the next 20minutes she tried her best to alleviate my fears of accidentally killing her and catching a manslaughter case.

Later that night I hesitantly did it and years later I’ve perfected it. I don’t use scarfs anymore but when your legs are wrapped around my waist and I’m grinding the dick deep inside, you‘re guaranteed to be choked by me. Sometimes softly, sometimes aggressively but always timed right and followed with a passionate kiss. While fucking you from behind I’ll place both hands around your neck and choke you. Or while fucking you from behind while standing up I’ll wrap my arm around your neck and apply pressure in a pseudo wrestler type choke hold.

Some people are a little freaked out by the thought of somebody choking them. My homeboy who is the most open minded person I know said “Hell No! I wish a Motherfuker would try and choke me!”....My female friend said “Um no thanks. You can pull the hair, spank me, even playfully slap me but if I wanted to be raped I’d jog in Central Park after dark.”….However, on the other hand I know just as many people who like it.

Even if the person says no to the idea of it, if you do it right they’ll enjoy it. The key is in applying the right pressure. Some individuals get off on simply having someone grab their neck with no pressure at all. Others like a medium or forceful aggressive grip. In all just don’t do it longer than 5 seconds. You don’t want the person to pass out. Ultimately you just need to know your partner. If you spring this on some random one night stand you run the possibility of scaring a mufuka and not getting none at all. In the end, choking can be a very sexy and intimate way of turning your partner on. Just don’t get carried away. The last thing you want is to go to jail for trying to bust a nut.